Modern Fairytales: Perfectly Pinterest Weddings

tumblr_lwmbgvYIJD1qztv9no1_500Every girl dreams of her wedding day.  Not only do girls dream about their future wedding, they are planning for it and sometimes even before they are in a committed relationship or near the point of their life in which they would consider marriage a possibility. Pinterest and other websites allow for girls to begin informally planning and preparing for their wedding day in a whole new way.  Almost every girl that has a pinterest has a “wedding board” where they pin different ideas for their dress, party favors, decorations, invitations, and all things wedding.  This shows an interesting shift in the thought of weddings and marriage.

Throughout history, weddings themselves have had a very different meaning. Certainly they have been celebrated in different manners and to different degrees of grandness.   However, it has always seemed that the wedding was celebrated and exciting because of the marriage that would come out of it.  Now, it seems that more girls are dreaming, planning, and longing for their wedding day instead of all the days of marriage that are meant to follow that wedding.  The wedding has become the focus instead of the intention of the wedding.

I was recently talking to a fellow student who is engaged and getting married this summer.  In passing she made a comment about how people have offered their Wedding pinterest boards to her while she is planning her wedding.  This struck me as very interesting.  Girls want to see these ideas and dreams become a reality, even if it is for someone else (at least until their own wedding).  Their own wedding isn’t even the focus for many because it only happens for one day and that might not be enough – they have ten different ideas for the invitation.

tumblr_mtjnhpgxsY1ryjwzno1_500Another potential problem with these pre-planned weddings is the fact that generally it is the planning of just one of the members who will be involved in the marriage (generally the bride).  But when the groom comes along and wants to make a few changes, will the girl who has been dreaming of all these aspects of her wedding day be willing to give them up?  In modern society, there is certainly an idea that the wedding is the “bride’s big day” and that it should be all about her so there might be some who say that it is understandable for her to be excited and to expect it to be all that she has dreamed it will be.  However, after the wedding it will not be “bride’s big day” it will be “husband-and-wife-all-day-every-day.”  And that is a reality that might not be able to be pinned on a pinterest board.

Granted, many of the girls who are making these boards may not be in a relationship or have someone that they necessarily want to marry so it would be difficult to imagine the marriage that would come after the wedding.  It is much easier for them to dream about the dress and the intricate details of the wedding that they can now.  But as girls become increasingly more attached to their dreams and hopes of their wedding day, what will happen after their wedding?  The realities of marriage and family life may seem shocking compared to their dreams of white, lace, and flowers.  The emphasis placed on fairytale perfect weddings is taking the emphasis away from the preparation and excitement for marriage itself.

Is there a danger in Pinterest wedding boards and other areas where emphasis is placed on the wedding instead of the marriage?

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